orichalcum

For the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel:

The winner:
“Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped ‘Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.’”

On the San Mateo County Fair Daily Schedule:

4:00pm
- Pig Races (Carnival Stage)
- Butchery Techniques for the Home Cook Demo (Culinary Arts Building)

CP: I guess they needed some motivation?

Around Mountain View:
Tattoo Expo: Cow Palace.
I'm sure the Cow Palace is just a big hall somewhere, but it does conjure images of "Have you seen the lovely ourobouros on that heifer's flank?

I'm sorry, engineers. Apparently, your profession just isn't compatible with a social life...

And in a Georgia update, apparently, official Moscow state radio is telling Russians that the Georgian war is a plot by Dick Cheney to prevent Obama from getting elected President of the U.S.A.

To be vaguely fair to them, there is an odd and unexplained secret visit by Karl Rove to Georgia last month. Still, though...

If r_ness is anywhere in the Chicagoland area, you should know that at Daley Plaza today the Thai tourism agency is giving out free mangosteens, rambutans, and mango samples! Also 5-minute free massages.

In other strange but true news, my subconscious is a weird weird place that has been watching too many different kinds of media. Thinking about the poor economy, I went to sleep with the refrain "Times is hard, times is hard" running through my head, from Sweeney Todd's "The Worst Pies in London."

This led to a dream in which I was one of two special agents tracking down the source of new superpowers and discovering that a shady baker was selling pies made out of radioactive cats.

When you're sleeping on your side, with or without a partner, what do you do with the bottom arm? I feel like I've been consistently waking up with sore or stiff arm muscles, but I have yet to find a really comfortable posture.

Random funny baby moment: I'm waiting to do a Monthday post until I can get good video of Mac turning on the radio and dancing, his latest hobby. Unfortunately whenever he sees me taping he stops and focuses on smiling at himself on the computer, the narcissist. :)

Still, I needed to share a moment from Sunday. I asked cerebralpaladin to get Mac dressed and ready to go outside. He decided it would be fun to let Mac pick out his own outfit.

The results? Periwinkle blue onesie, yellow-green-blue polkadot capri-length leggings, , navy-blue horizontally striped socks, and a black corduroy jacket. And that was before I insisted that he put on the necessary bright red winter coat and blue snow boots.

I felt like I needed an emergency response team of "Queer Eye for the Straight Baby." I guess he'll never be a fashion designer. :)

Twins separated at birth accidentally marry each other.


Of course, probably far less amusing in real life.

The Year in Media Errors, from regrettheerror.com

My favorites:
Portland Press Herald:

A story on Page B4 on Wednesday about foraging for edible mushrooms contained a photo of amanita muscaria, which is a poisonous and hallucinogenic mushroom. It was a copy editor’s error. should not to be confused with the UK Ipomoea, also known as morning glory, which is poisonous.

Sunday Times (UK):

An article about Lord Lambton (“Lord Louche, sex king of Chiantishire”, News Review, January 7) falsely stated that his son Ned (now Lord Durham) and daughter Catherine held a party at Lord Lambton’s villa, Cetinale, in 1997, which degenerated into such an orgy that Lord Lambton banned them from Cetinale for years. In fact, Lord Durham does not have a sister called Catherine (that is the name of his former wife), there has not been any orgiastic party of any kind and Lord Lambton did not ban him (or Catherine) from Cetinale at all. We apologise sincerely to Lord Durham for the hurt and embarrassment caused.

Independent Saturday (UK) magazine:

Following the portrait of Tony and Cherie Blair published on 21 April in the Independent Saturday magazine, Ms Blair’s representatives have told us that she was friendly with but never had a relationship with Carole Caplin of the type suggested in the article. They want to make it clear, which we are happy to do, that Ms Blair “has never shared a shower with Ms Caplin, was not introduced to spirit guides or primal wrestling by Ms Caplin (or anyone else), and did not have her diary masterminded by Ms Caplin.”

Do you burn more calories when out for a walk on a really cold day than on a hot day? I mean, you sweat less, obviously, but I've been feeling more tired after dog walks.

--The person who assiduously avoided serious science classes in college, a bit to her regret.

or does it look like the Queen of England decided to attend the Opening of Parliament in her bathrobe?

I mean, the birthdate's all wrong, but I was skimming new tv season previews and came across this actress. Yes, her birth name really is Moon Bloodgood.

Random things of the day:

1. Apparently, I now live in a subtropical zone. Every day, a previously cloudless, 90-degree sky will suddenly get very dark and treat us to a 40 minute thunderstorm, between 3:30 and 5:30, before clearing up again.

2. A new print ad from the Israel Tourism Bureau in the New Yorker has the tag: "Nobody belongs here more than you." Did they even think about the potential ramifications of that statement?

3. Yet another idiot thing I did when I was 17 was giving up Star Trek because it reminded me too much of my ex. As it turns out, Season 4 of DS9 is actually quite good! Also, I've been shamefully reading a post-series novel, Crisis of Faith, in the B&N and really enjoying it.

4. Everyone, as far as I can tell, has gone Potter-crazy. One of the local banks, the First Bank and Trust, has decorated every single window with large Potter posters from the movies, has ceramic jars of Bertie's Beans on the windowsills, as well as the CCG decks, and a wizarding hat, and has a huge tv screen set up in the window playing the first movie. The heck?

5. Most Random Product Yet Bought from TJ's: Dried Hibiscus Flowers. Will report on what they taste like later.

The final current cookie list:
Peanut Blossoms
1-2-3-4 Peanut Cookies
Chocolate Raspberry Brownies
Lemon Bars
Cafe-au-Lait Bars
Blueberry Oatmeal Bars
Oatmeal Fudge Mocha cookies