I like to think of myself as a generally tolerant and compassionate person. People are good at different things and as I've gotten older, I've gotten more respectful of the idea of distinct types of intelligence.
But effort has become an increasingly important value to me, along with reliability. I can respect someone who has the courage to do something they find difficult or scary, even if they perform horrifically at the task. But not trying at all? The specific incident that sparked this was the contestant on Beauty and the Geek last night who just stayed totally silent during her portion of the debate (Jen?). Look, most learning experiences come from trying and failing the first time. I'm not saying jumping off that cliff isn't terrifying, but it's incredibly valuable experience.
I wonder if young women who view their looks as their primary asset have the same praise issues as really smart people. When I was little and couldn't do something perfectly on the first try, I either threw a tantrum or refused to do it at all. But with the help of a good teacher, I learned the value of practice and stubborn determination. I think one of the reasons
gee_tar is getting such comparatively good screentime on BatG (besides slightly excessive honesty) is precisely that he is clearly willing to try, as is Jasmine. They both acknowledged their distaste for the challenges, and then dealt as best as they could.
This struck home for me particularly, I think, because of the last few years of teaching. I had some woefully unprepared students whose previous education had not taught them to write or speak coherently about their ideas. Some of them worked incredibly hard to improve, and while the immediate motivation may have been not wanting to lose an athletic scholarship, they still put in the time. Some others didn't bother contacting me to complain about their grades until after the final exam results had been posted.
I've learned over the past few years lessons I'm not sure my parents ever knew or maybe forgot - to have immense respect for movers and housekeepers and babysitters and business managers and secretaries and carpenters who are all extremely good at their jobs in ways that I'm not and probably could never be. I can admire the sort of self-discipline and regimen I imagine it takes to achieve the body of a Hooters girl or a Playboy model. I grew up in a household that primarily valued people based on what their level of education and publication was. I don't want to make that mistake with Mac.
Effort isn't always enough. I didn't give the kids who tried really hard despite poor skills in my class As, but I gave them B-s or Bs. But without effort, all the rest is meaningless, no matter whether you're trying to discover the intricacies of ancient Assyrian grammar or greet people politely as they enter your restaurant or office.
In other news, a 25-word-review of _Reaper_: Prototypical Kevin Smith aimless dude finds mission in life: sending damned back to Hell. Crass humor unneeded, Chasing Amy sweetness great, Devil chillingly dark yet inspirational.
I recommend watching next week.