How do I buy a really nice dress? And Other Surreal Moments of the Day

[orichalcum]

I was a Good Girl today, and terribly yuppie. I joined a non-university gym for the first time, and arranged to sign up for baby water orientation classes there. I went to Gymboree and found out what their schedule and gym was like. I'm not sure we're going to join, because it's way expensive for once a week, but we'll certainly check out the free class. And then I went to Trader Joe's, where I got lots of stuff for a picnic by the lake tomorrow and encountered the following surreal customers in line ahead of me:

Group #1: 3 college-aged guys, one wearing a Sigma Chi sweatshirt, who spent $364 on Three-Buck-Chuck and 3 bottles of cheap champagne. They got 6 cases. That was all they bought. The first guy had three credit cards declined in a row, and finally his friend had to pay. As the checkout lady said to me later, "When I was in college, we got kegs."

Person #2: A guy in his 30s, nicely dressed, ahead of me in line, whose total purchase was one bouquet of a dozen roses and mixed flowers and 12 cardboard boxes of Trader Joe's Mac 'N Cheese.
What's his story, I wonder? ladybird97 suggested he might have a pregnant wife.

I decided to splurge and try out two of their new products - guava paste rolls, which Mac might like, and the Sweet Sixteen collection of eight pairs of mini-pastries: key lime tarts, raspberry white chocolate tarts, chocolate coconut bars, blueberry linzer bars, strawberry rhubarb bars, flourless chocolate cake with raspberry frosting, carrot cake, and lemon bars. We'll see what the picnic thinks of them - and they were remarkably cheap, too - $7.00 for all of them.

Now we come to the question for which I actually need advice. After doing all of this productive stuff, I went to the mall, in search of a dress. I've got three weddings to go to in the next six months, and two dresses that could sort-of work and one more casual top-and-skirt. So I'm not in a dire situation. However, in late October, A's law firm has its annual gala again, the one which I was woefully underdressed for last year since everyone was wearing Oscar-knockoff 4-5 digit gowns. I am determined that I will not be underdressed this year, esp. since A. might possibly be up for an award. A's Weberian Congregationalist soul is horrified at the thought of spending that much money on a dress, so we have compromised on it merely being a very nice dress, rather than a month's rent kind of dress. Sensibly, he also feels that I should wear it to at least one of the weddings, which is why I'm really hoping that the two weddings whose dress codes I don't know are reasonably formal so I won't be out of place. I should clarify that I'm also slightly appalled by the idea of spending more on this gown than on our rent or my wedding dress, but I'd really like to have a gown that actually fit me and where I elicited some "Damns!" from friends, without upstaging anyone. (Thankfully, none of the weddings have any ex-issues, so I don't need to go extra-modest or anything.)

The mall, as it turns out, does not seem to be the kind of place to buy a really nice dress, particularly given my current figure (hopefully to be modified by the gym, see above), in which I tend to either look shapeless or like Betty Boop. So, oh so knowledgable friends, where _does_ one go to buy Oscar-knockoffs for non-model-thin women?

Comments

[orichalcum.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I liked that dress. I do want to try and avoid "bridesmaid satin," because I don't especially like it and I think it codes too young for something like the gala (though not for weddings.) The odd thing is trying to go for a formal gown appropriate to a woman in her 30s - not the mother-of-the-bride sequined jacket model but not the prom/bridesmaid model exactly either.

Other random question - I noticed last year that most of the other women were also not wearing jewelry. Is jewelry just out with formal dresses?

[hca.livejournal.com]

Good lord, I have no idea. I don't exactly have points in girl skills! :) And I've never been to anything like this gala. Just weddings. Where I wear jewelry to go with my dress, because I like jewelry. I've taken to wearing it to work more often, because I now work with a bunch of women who do have points in girl skills.

[outlawradio.livejournal.com]

Well, if there is a lot of beading or sequins, it can be overwhelming and/or clash with the dress. My wedding gown, for instance, simply would not take a small/average sized necklace, and I tried several. On the website it is shown with a hideous diamond encrusted rose; I assume A's co-workers and their wives have the good sense not to go this route whilst otherwise bespangled.

[wildpaletz.livejournal.com]

The photos I saw of you in your dress, you looked a *lot* better than model in it. Just so you know my opinion. :)

[outlawradio.livejournal.com]

Aww! Thanks! :) I appreciate that.

[orichalcum.livejournal.com]

OMG that rose is atrocious. You did indeed look so much better and more tasteful. I suppose it's that I tend to wear fairly solid-color, simple dresses, so am used to accessorizing. Also, I have inherited jewelry I don't get enough chances to wear, given my unfortunate lack of living female ancestors.

I also have to figure out my feelings about wearing the necklace traditionally given to my family's eldest daughter on her 40th birthday, which I have because, well, there's no one else to wear it, but which I've only worn once, for my wedding.

[outlawradio.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Heirlooms can be hard that way. I think there'll be a time when it feels right to wear it.

[orichalcum.livejournal.com]

That makes sense.