How do I buy a really nice dress? And Other Surreal Moments of the Day

[orichalcum]

I was a Good Girl today, and terribly yuppie. I joined a non-university gym for the first time, and arranged to sign up for baby water orientation classes there. I went to Gymboree and found out what their schedule and gym was like. I'm not sure we're going to join, because it's way expensive for once a week, but we'll certainly check out the free class. And then I went to Trader Joe's, where I got lots of stuff for a picnic by the lake tomorrow and encountered the following surreal customers in line ahead of me:

Group #1: 3 college-aged guys, one wearing a Sigma Chi sweatshirt, who spent $364 on Three-Buck-Chuck and 3 bottles of cheap champagne. They got 6 cases. That was all they bought. The first guy had three credit cards declined in a row, and finally his friend had to pay. As the checkout lady said to me later, "When I was in college, we got kegs."

Person #2: A guy in his 30s, nicely dressed, ahead of me in line, whose total purchase was one bouquet of a dozen roses and mixed flowers and 12 cardboard boxes of Trader Joe's Mac 'N Cheese.
What's his story, I wonder? ladybird97 suggested he might have a pregnant wife.

I decided to splurge and try out two of their new products - guava paste rolls, which Mac might like, and the Sweet Sixteen collection of eight pairs of mini-pastries: key lime tarts, raspberry white chocolate tarts, chocolate coconut bars, blueberry linzer bars, strawberry rhubarb bars, flourless chocolate cake with raspberry frosting, carrot cake, and lemon bars. We'll see what the picnic thinks of them - and they were remarkably cheap, too - $7.00 for all of them.

Now we come to the question for which I actually need advice. After doing all of this productive stuff, I went to the mall, in search of a dress. I've got three weddings to go to in the next six months, and two dresses that could sort-of work and one more casual top-and-skirt. So I'm not in a dire situation. However, in late October, A's law firm has its annual gala again, the one which I was woefully underdressed for last year since everyone was wearing Oscar-knockoff 4-5 digit gowns. I am determined that I will not be underdressed this year, esp. since A. might possibly be up for an award. A's Weberian Congregationalist soul is horrified at the thought of spending that much money on a dress, so we have compromised on it merely being a very nice dress, rather than a month's rent kind of dress. Sensibly, he also feels that I should wear it to at least one of the weddings, which is why I'm really hoping that the two weddings whose dress codes I don't know are reasonably formal so I won't be out of place. I should clarify that I'm also slightly appalled by the idea of spending more on this gown than on our rent or my wedding dress, but I'd really like to have a gown that actually fit me and where I elicited some "Damns!" from friends, without upstaging anyone. (Thankfully, none of the weddings have any ex-issues, so I don't need to go extra-modest or anything.)

The mall, as it turns out, does not seem to be the kind of place to buy a really nice dress, particularly given my current figure (hopefully to be modified by the gym, see above), in which I tend to either look shapeless or like Betty Boop. So, oh so knowledgable friends, where _does_ one go to buy Oscar-knockoffs for non-model-thin women?

Comments

[jendaviswilson.livejournal.com]

I buy almost all of my formalish dresses at Loehmanns, which is a designer seconds store. I've never spent over $100. I almost bought an Oscars-type dress last time, but couldn't imagine anything I'd need to go to in the near future that was that formal. They always have a lot at the ends of the size range--I have to dig for my average-type size, and still always leave with three dresses or so.
I suggest finding your nearest outlet mall, too.
Is Jessica McClintock formal enough? Those come in lots of sizes, but may be too bridesmaidy. Not rock bottom prices but still reasonable.
Hmm...maybe try some upscale department store websites first to get an idea of sizes and styles, then visit the promising ones? Finally, isn't Neimann Marcus's annul sale coming up soon? That would be ideal.

[hca.livejournal.com]

I have no idea where one goes to buy an Oscar knockoff. My not-so-helpful advice: The dress I wore to fajitas' wedding, which I am delighted to be able to wear a second time (to foldedfish's wedding) is fairly formal. (You saw it, did my hair for it, and took a picture of me in it. :) ) I got it at Filene's Basement. I don't know if this helps at all, or if Chicago has Filene's. Also, it occurred to me as I wandered through David's Bridal this year that I would totally wear some of those bridesmaid's dresses in some of those colors, and those might be Oscary.

[ellinor.livejournal.com]

To respond to some comments:

Jewelry is absolutely not out. But of course it depends on the dress. Simple, elegant dress => fancier jewelry. Froofy dress with lots of stuff going on => less jewelry.

I like Macy's for dressy things. I find that my figure takes well to two-piece formal dresses, e.g. sequined top or jacket with a one-tone skirt. You may be able to wear a skirt you already have, if you find a top fancy enough. That may cut down on cost. Neiman's is also a good idea, and Loehmann's is a great idea (although I have trouble finding really good things in my size there. Your size may do better or your Loehmann's may vary).

You can have something made. If you find some really amazing fabrics at a fabric shop and a good seamstress, you can get a really great dress that fits you perfectly. It may be a more expensive than sales or Loehmann's, but it probably won't be 4 figures. It takes effort, but then you can say you had it designed specially for you. :)

anyway, good luck. Look forward to hearing more about it.

one bouquet of a dozen roses and mixed flowers and 12 cardboard boxes of Trader Joe's Mac 'N Cheese

lurve, true lurve.

Or maybe the guy just likes the number 12.

;)

[karakara98.livejournal.com]

I would try J. Crew, believe it or not. They actually have a great weddings/parties section with dresses for $200-$300. I find them simple & elegant. They work for my body type, but YMMV. The head womens-wear designer is a 6' tall women of my body type :), but I think it's worth a look.

Other than that, I'd try Macy's, Nieman Marcus, or Lord & Taylor. Unfortunately though, the last few times I've shopped there, it's been hard to find anything other than variations on the currently in color.

Good luck!

[holmes-iv.livejournal.com]

Domestically incompetent bachelor with a hot date? I can't help with the dress issues, but random male grocery-shoppers are something I'm more familiar with. :-)

[amethyst73.livejournal.com]

Good Lord. I think the only 2 times I've ever had a 'really fancy' dress were (1) my senior prom (worn again at college senior dance during graduation weekend), and (2) my wedding. In both cases, they were made for me (my wedding dress is actually built on the shell of my mom's wedding dress), so I'm not much help in the 'where to find a really fancy dress' department. I was vaguely thinking that maybe there'd be a consignment shop for stuff like that...?

For the wedding that we're going to in July with you guys, I was figuring I'd probably wear the same comfy-but-nice ankle-length dress that I wore to your guys' wedding. But if you want to wear super-snazzy dress to that, I could bring my green silk gown (considerably fancier, though not what I'd call Oscar-style) and wear that instead. I suppose we could ask the bridegroom of that wedding if he has any preference for level o' fanciness.

(And whether there'll be dancing at the reception. I can't move comfortably in the green silk dress, so dancing in it would be quite out.)

[nhradar.livejournal.com]

So, to answer the trivial part of this:

The Sigma Chi guy was probably throwing a formal or an initiation post-party. Kegs are against Sigma Chi risk management policy, and Sigma Chi HQ is in Evanston. Plus, NW had some serious issues a few years ago. So they wanted to be both Klassy and also not lose their charter. :)

[julianyap.livejournal.com]

Not my area of expertise, but for what it's worth I echo what most people have said, since you're in Chicago a scouting trip down the magnificent mile may be in order. Lords and Taylors may be a particularly good choice during sale season since they are less popular these days (slightly older clientele) which means that younger stuff gets left for sale season.

In fact sale season is the big time to buy anything. The Spring season goes on sale in about a weeks time at most boutiques and I imagine the department stores will follow in the same period. Most places go to at least 35% off, which is nice. Of course, spring means slightly less formal dresses than Fall in general, but there might be something for you.

Another option are outlet stores, this is where the designer boutiques send all their overstock, so it'll be a couple of seasons back, not that that should matter a great deal. Armani has one in Manchester NH which is not so helpful, but I imagine that there is something similar in the Chicago area.