orichalcum: (Default)
Add MemoryShare This Entry
Bet they didn't teach you this one in 4th grade:

"The people of those days were so attached to their sensual pleasures that they even went so far as to dedicate a temple to Aphrodite of the Beautiful Buttocks, for the following reason. Once upon a time a farmer had two beautiful daughters. One day these girls, getting into a dispute as to which one had a more beautiful backside, went onto the public street. And by chance a young man was passing by, the son of a rich old man. They showed themselves to him, and when he saw them he voted in favor of the older girl. And in fact, falling in love with her, when he got back to town, he took to his bed and told his younger brother everything that had happened. And the younger brother also went to the country and saw the girls, and he fell in love with the other daughter. And so when the boys' father tried to get them to marry someone of the upper classes, he couldn't persuade his sons, and so he brought the girls in from the country, with their father's permission, and married them to his sons. And so these girls were called fair-buttocked by the citizens, as Cercidas of Megalopolis says in his Iambic Verses: "There was a pair of beautiful-buttocked girls in Syracuse." And so these girls, when they got wealthy and famous, founded a temple of Aphrodite and called the goddess the Fair-buttocked, as Archelaus tells us in his Iambic Verses."
location: home
Mood:: 'amused' amused
Music:: I Like Big Butts
There are 17 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 
posted by [identity profile] meepodeekin.livejournal.com at 08:12pm on 24/10/2007
That was hilarious, thanks! I miss the days when one was allowed to worship the gods for such obvious reasons. :)
 
posted by [identity profile] pantsie.livejournal.com at 08:17pm on 24/10/2007
Let me guess - J.Lo is a devotee of this particular Aphroditic sect?
 
posted by [identity profile] orichalcum.livejournal.com at 08:19pm on 24/10/2007
Clearly. Besides, J. Lo Kallipygos (Hot Butt) has a nice ring.
 
posted by [identity profile] pantsie.livejournal.com at 08:22pm on 24/10/2007
*guffaws*

She's Jenny from the Block. The block that will forever be known now as Kallipygos Street.
 
posted by (anonymous) at 08:22pm on 24/10/2007
I have to say, "There was a pair of beautiful-buttocked girls in Syracuse" really sounds like a bad translation of the beginning of a ribald limerick. It just fits the pattern of "There once was a man from Nantucket" sorts of limericks so perfectly, except that it's too long.

--Adam
 
posted by [identity profile] orichalcum.livejournal.com at 08:55pm on 24/10/2007
Two girls with hot asses in Syracuse,
were looking for young men to amuse,

I'm stuck there.
 
posted by [identity profile] epilimnion.livejournal.com at 09:15pm on 24/10/2007
Two girls with hot asses in Syracuse,
were looking for young men to amuse,
They hoped to marry
and the boys did tarry,
but no one could decide who to choose

Too bad I couldn't come up with something dirtier, but it does relate to the story somewhat...(I'm not sure if my syllable or metrics are correct, but it's the best I could do in 5 secs of poetry writing)
ivy: Two strands of ivy against a red wall (Default)
posted by [personal profile] ivy at 11:20pm on 24/10/2007
Two Syracuse girls with hot asses
Demanded verdicts from bypassers
Behold, callipygian
Rites lift darkness Stygian
From fortunate youths of high classes.

(You don't know me, but I was directed to this discussion by [livejournal.com profile] stolen_tea and could not resist. There's a slant rhyme, but I hope the Greek references make up for it.)
 
posted by [identity profile] orichalcum.livejournal.com at 12:42am on 25/10/2007
Thank you! That's also great.
 
There once were two women in Syracuse
Who vied over who had the best caboose
The Paris they'd chosen's
Brother's tastes were opposin'
So each married the man with congruent views!
 
Oh my. Very nice, sir!
 
Superb. Not sure about the rhymes, but the use of the word "congruent" makes it all worthwhile.
 
posted by [identity profile] birdofparadox.livejournal.com at 06:52pm on 25/10/2007
OMG, I *heart* you.
 
posted by [identity profile] orichalcum.livejournal.com at 07:25pm on 25/10/2007
Don't know how you found this, but glad you're enjoying it!
 
posted by [identity profile] hillarygayle.livejournal.com at 02:17am on 25/10/2007
Wow. The goddess of ass.
 
posted by [identity profile] a-dodecahedron.livejournal.com at 04:16am on 25/10/2007
I was going to ask how you say "You other brothers can't deny" in Latin, but I see that question has been answered.
 
posted by [identity profile] abbadie.livejournal.com at 08:57pm on 25/10/2007
Nequaquam planas! Ave Venus! :-D

April

SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
      1 2
 
3 4
 
5
 
6 7 8 9 10 11
 
12 13 14
 
15
 
16 17 18
 
19 20 21 22 23
 
24 25
 
26 27
 
28
 
29
 
30